


Vodka Soaked Kitten

by bkwrm523



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Gen, I mean, but loosely, it's technically Eo/you, so you can read it as platonic if you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 05:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17677235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bkwrm523/pseuds/bkwrm523
Summary: The reader can’t sleep, gets drunk, and has a brilliant idea.





	Vodka Soaked Kitten

Eobard’s cell started moving again.  Someone else apparently wanted to talk to him.  He quickly stood, posing intimidatingly at the entrance to the cell.

His cell finally stopped moving, and the opaque barrier between the glass wall of his cell and his visitor rose, painfully slow.

“What level of schooling did you teach?”  You demanded eagerly, as soon as Eobard came into view.  You were clinging to one of the railings, relying on it to keep you standing straight.  You were… well, you were drunk.  Very drunk.  And Eobard Thawne was still contained in the pipeline while the rest of the team decided how to handle the time travel paradox.

“What did I… what?”  Eobard asked, an adorable crinkle forming between his brows as he gave a confused frown.

“Did I wake yoouuu??”  You asked quickly and anxiously.

“Uh, no.  Why?”

“Becuz ittt’s like… threeeee in tha morrrning or something, an I don’t like waking people upppp!”  You exclaimed, slurring a little and stumbling away from the railing.  You tightened your grip on the railing, pulling yourself back towards it.  A smile broke across his face, bemused and charmed despite himself.

“No, you didn’t wake me up.  You might wanna sit down, though.”  Eobard replied, his voice gentle and amused.

“I’m okayy!”  You insisted, stumbling a little again.

“You’re gonna fall and hurt yourself.  Please.”  He urged you.  Eobard sat down, himself, crossing his legs and perching comfortably on the floor near the glass of his cell.  You shrugged to yourself, then flopped down onto the ground.  It took you a moment to find a comfortable position, and you focused on that before you spoke again.

“Okayyy, but seriously.”  You began again.  “I gottttta knowww.  She callllled you Profffesssor Thawne, and that means you TEACH sommethinggg.  I have so many questions!”

“I… questions about my teaching career?”  Eobard lifted an eyebrow, looking and sounding utterly confused.

“Yes!”

“Everyone else here can’t stop talking about how much they hate me.  And you wanna know what kind of teacher I was?”

“Howw can you  _not_ neeed to know about these thinggs?”

“… how much have you had to drink?”

“Jussst vodka.”

“That… wasn’t what I asked.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“So you drank?”

“…yes?”

“All right.”  Eobard sighed.  “What do you want to know?”

“What level of schooling did you teach?”

“… can you really see me as a middle school teacher?”

“Yes.”

“What?!”

“What, what?  You’d keep fuckin orrrrder, dude.  Nooooobody misbehaves.”  You replied, giggling.

“I taught  _college_.”  Eobard replied, exasperated.

“Okayyy, but what level?”

“… would you believe me if I said PhD?”

“No.”

“Graduate.”

“No.”

“Fine, I taught undergraduate.”

“What subjjjject?”

“I’m from the future.”  Eobard replied loftily.  “You wouldn’t understand the subject.”

“I meannnn, if youuu’re nott gonnna sayy, then Immmma assume you teach English Lit.”

“…  _what_?!”

“English Lit, and you’re onathose toooools that doesn’t actually use tha books, but instead hasa textbook with ‘selections’ frommm important stufffs.”

The look Eobard gave you could have melted the glass between you two.

“And you asssign  _Shakespeare_ , but you wimp outttt and lettt tha students use the lame  _translated_ Shakespeare, and-”

“Physics!”  Eobard blurted out, still glaring daggers at you.  “I taught physics.”

“Okay, so.”  You shifted your weight, grinning at your victory and leaning unconsciously towards him.  “Did you teach yourrr own labs, or did you team teach?  If the latttterrr, are you stilllll friends with tha perrrson you taught withh?  Are you a gooood lecturuerrr?  Werre you onea those assssholes that assssigned tonsa homework ovrr break?”

“Why are you so interested in my teaching career?”

“Oh!  What kind of reviews did you get on rate yourrr professsor?!  And don’t tell me you don’t haaaaaave that in tha futurrrre.  I’llll knowwww you’re lying.”  You pointed an accusing finger at him.  Eobard dropped his head, laughing quietly for a few moments.

“I don’t know, teachers aren’t allowed to see it.”

“Fuck.  Well, I asssked about a million otherrr questions!”

“I’ll answer yours when you answer mine.”

“… what do you want to know?”

“Exactly how much did you have to drink?”

“What are you doing down here?”  A third voice came from behind you, startling you into jumping.  You craned your head behind you, almost falling over, and recognized Harry standing there, a blaster hanging from one of his hands.

“I… HI!”  You greeted him, smiling broadly.

“Hi.  What are you doing down here.”

“Drinking.”

“Technically, you  _were_ drinking.”  Eobard chimed in.  “She stopped sometime before she came down here.”

“Tattletale.”  You glared at Eobard.

“You’re the one who told him you were drinking!”

“I didn’t say  _what_!”

“It was implied!”

“Get up.”  Harry interrupted the banter.  He walked over to you, using his free hand to grab your arm and help you to your feet.  You grumbled a little as you stood, not quite ready to stand.  You grasped at the railing again, relying on the furniture to help keep you from wobbling.  Well, from wobbling too much.  “You’re leaving.”

“I am?”  You asked, bewildered.  “Where am I going?”

“You’re going to bed.  It’s late.”  Harry instructed you.

“Okay, I can  _try_.”  You told Harry agreeably.  You turned back, facing Eobard, and waved.  “Bye, Eobard!”

“It… it was nice meeting you.  Good luck sleeping.”

“Thanks!”

“Just go.”  Harry ordered you sternly, glaring at Eobard.


End file.
